bergoglio joke of the day
We here at PublicVigil have another first from our secret Vatican sources... we have obtained an advance copy of bergoglio's new papal encyclical...
The title of the encyclical is Globulus Warmus Est...
On about page 100 after a few brief introductory remarks with numerous quotes from the documents of Vatican 2 and even more numerous quotes from bergoglio's own gaudium gospelus (or whatever he calls it)... because nothing says humble like constantly quoting yourself...
... after the brief introduction bergoglio makes public a startling revelation that he has learned from certain jewish rabbis which he regularly consults with that not only are we experiencing global warming as a result of mankind's effect on the environment, but even more startling is the recent evidence of SOLAR warming...
As you can imagine the effects of solar warming far exceed those of global warming... but then we know from our studies of the solar system that the earth is not the center of the universe as ancient man once thought...
This solar warming is the result of man-made carbon dioxide escaping from earth's atmosphere and being drawn into the sun by its immense gravitational field...
Once the CO2 enters the corona of the sun it reacts with the helium of the sun to cause a nuclear chain reaction which causes enormous solar flares that not only heat up the earth but also cause deadly radiation to penetrate earth's atmosphere and release more CO2 in a positive feedback loop which will only accelerate unless...
... unless we form a unified worldwide religion of peace and dedicate ourselves to eliminating our CO2 emissions by breathing through only one lung...
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wow!... bergoglio's new encyclical sure breaks with tradition...
... and that's a good thing?...
... well it's different... and very modern...
... and that's a good thing?...
... who knew that man-made CO2 emissions were causing SOLAR warming...
... soon the solar bears will be extinct...
... funny... very funny...
... i thought so...
... there is no such thing as solar warming is there?... you just made this whole thing up...
... and you believed it...
... well it all sounded so "scientific"...
... that's all it takes...
... i started to get suspicious when i read the part about breathing through one lung...
... can't fool you...
... that's right...
... only bergoglio can do that...
... you mean breathe through only one lung?...
... no, i mean fool you...