Monday, December 8, 2014

bergoglio joke of the day

bergoglio joke of the day

PublicVigil has an exclusive preview of bergoglio's latest interview which will appear on newstands everywhere tomorrow.

ATHEIST INTERVIEWER: Can you tell us some of your favorite things about being pope? For instance is it that you can eat like a pig? Or that you can say whatever stupid thing pops into your head? What are your thoughts? If you have any?

bERGOGLIO: Yes, it's true that as pope i get to eat like a pig and say whatever ridiculous thing pops into my head. It's true, but there is more... for instance...

... now that i'm pope people actually listen to what I have to say... that never happened in Buenos Aires.. mostly they just said, "shut up bergoglio!"... now who's turn is it to shut up?... eh?... what did you say? ... i said shut up... who's the pope? ... i'm the pope... shut up... no, YOU shut up...

... and now everyone wants to talk to me... in Buenos Aires nobody wanted to talk to me... they said, "bergoglio? why do i want to talk to bergoglio?"... now everyone wants to interview me... ME, the pope... because i'm el hombre... el GRAN hombre... it's like, you want to talk to me? ... sure give me a minute to finish this interview and i'll be right over...

... and everybody loves me... in Buenos Aires nobody loved me... sure Skorka and Tony were my friends... but now... now everyone wants to be my friend... i don't want to sound like i'm bragging because i'm so humble, but i got so many friends on facebook and twitter... how many friends you got? ... maybe you need to be pope... like me... sorry the job's already taken... ha! ... what a funny guy i am ...

ATHEIST INTERVIEWER: Thank you jorge for this candid and enlightening interview. Do you have any closing thoughts? I mean if you have any thoughts at all.

bERGOGLIO: i just want to assure you that as pope i would never try to proselytize you...

ATHEIST INTERVIEWER: ...uh, yes. You said that at least ten times during the interview. I guess there are no closing thoughts.

bERGOGLIO: Did I tell you that i don't want to proselytize you...

ATHEIST INTERVIEWER: ...uh, yes... you did...

bERGOGLIO: OK... cause I wouldn't want to forget that... it's very important... eh? no? yes?

ATHEIST INTERVIEWER: ...uh, yes...

bERGOGLIO: Do you want to take a selfie with the pope?

ATHEIST INTERVIEWER: ...uh, sure... why not...

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