Saturday, October 18, 2014

bergoglio joke of the day

bergoglio joke of the day

the other night in the Casa Santa Marta kasper was scampering past the bedroom of bergoglio at an early morning hour when he heard cries of "i'm melting! i'm melting!" from within.

kasper quickly opened the door -- which was slightly ajar -- and called out, "are you ok, my dear bergoglio... i heard screams..."

bergoglio was sitting on a couch with his back towards kasper, he rotated his head 180° [just kidding], and replied, "oh, i'm fine, my dear kasper... i was just re-watching my favorite movie "the wizard of oz" with judy garland... the saddest part is when the witch of the west cries out "i'm melting!"... don't you agree that she is the most mis-understood character in all of western culture? She was just trying to help the poor dorothy after all and keep her from being taken in by that wizard of oz con-man... do you want to see? i have it here on my papal iPad... oops, it's time to send another tweet... "

"don't worry... baldisseri will take care of that... ," interrupted kasper

... and then just under his breath he muttered, "how many times do i have to tell him...?"

bergoglio didn't seem to notice kasper's interruption and just continued where he left off, "... actually i like the wizard of oz character as well... yes, he is a con-man, no?... but he is following his conscience... and so he is a good con-man... no? yes?..."

"yes... i mean no... i mean yes... ", responded kasper in obvious frustration...

bergoglio noticed the frustration in kasper's tone and asked delicately, "my dear kasper... are you alright... is it the synod... eh? no? yes?"

"yes... i mean no... i mean yes... ", responded kasper again... his frustration  obviously increasing...

"my dear kasper, you can tell me... what is it?... have you been having nightmares about recording devices again... they're everywhere you know... cameras, cellphones, even tiny microscopic ones that you can't even see... "

"really, jorge-cito...? is that supposed to make me feel better and calm down...? "

"oh, kasper-cito, i'm just trying to help... "

"... even the rodent John Allen Jr. has turned against us... he says the synod is like a soap opera... "

"... oh, but then CallMeJorge corrected him [LINK] and said that it is more like a circus... which of course makes me happy because then i get to put on my clown nose again and pose for some selfies... and then you can be the ringmaster... "

"ok, fine, das is güt, i feel better now... thank you jorge-cito... you always know the right thing to say to cheer me up... like when you complemented my 'profound theology' and even said it was like 'doing theology on one's knees'... that was just after all the Cardinals had attacked my speech back in Febraur... "

they both sat their silently for a while... just holding hands and looking at each other...

then kasper continued, "... yes, we will have another circus and i will be the ringmaster again... like at the half-time of the fütbol match für peace... "

"... yes, my dear kasper-cito... "

"just one thing," added kasper, "... this time try not to release the lions... "

"... but you know it was an accident... "

"... i'm just saying... they might mistake baldisseri, erdo and forte for Christians and eat them... "

"oh, that wouldn't be good... malo... muy malo... "

"yes, i agree... sehr malo... "

~~~

Here is a link for more bergoglio jokes of the day...

LINK

[H/T Mundabor -- LINK]

~~~

poor kasper...

yes, his comments about the African bishops did not go over very well...

if only it had not been recorded... he could have denied the comments...

well, he did try to deny them anyway...

but what kind of reporter would make such a recording public...?

a Catholic one?

yes, I suppose... they still exist?

apparently so... glory be to God...

~~~

"Too bad for Kasper that true Catholic reporters still exist" -- LINK

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