Monday, September 29, 2014

The Rhine sewage flows into the Tiber (again)

The Rhine sewage flows into the Tiber (again)

The latest from the German pastoral excrement school of theology....

And no doubt the French and other pastoral excrement schools of theology will join with them in support at the synod (on sex)....


"As in Vatican II, the Germans seem to be Preparing a Coup for the Synod"


The German Bishops are with Cardinal Walter Kasper on marriage and the family.

The theses [feces?] from the theologian chosen by the Pope which will open the consistory discussions on the themes at the biennial Synod, now just around the corner, are shared and supported by the majority in the German Episcopate.

Cardinal Reinhard Marx, Archbishop of Munich and Freising, explained this during a round-table on Dialogue in the Church, which took place last week in Magdeburg.

[It is reported that there was a special pastorally designed toilet system that was inaugurated in Magdeburg with toilets around the round-table so that the German bishops could defecate and urinate directly from their  Dialogue in the Church seats without even getting up. This way they were able to complete the documents more quickly and use the first drafts for cleaning themselves.... FLU-SH-SH-SH.... down the Rhein go the documents and directly down to the Tiber.... ]

Cardinal Marx also revealed that as soon as the synod talks arrive at the main subject, he, himself, as president of the local Bishops Conference, would be the one to bring a document [written on toilet paper?] to the assembly that would clarify the position of the majority of German Bishops who will have all their names signed at the bottom [in excrement?]. A position that would follow the lines traced by Kasper in his long theological report exposed to the Cardinals last February and which he had made as an overture to the frank and open debate wanted by the Pope.

The representatives of the progressive movement “We are Church” said they were very enthusiastic. Its longtime leaders Martha Heizer and her husband were excommunicated some months ago because they had celebrated the Eucharist in their living-room – “We have been doing it for years, we wanted to show that there was a solution to the problem of the scarcity of priests in Christian communities”, the Austrian ex-teacher had said, justifying it. [She also demonstrated that defecating in your living room is a way to solve a toilet scarcity....]

Cardinal Marx’s words then, are rather pleasing to the movement, provided that they are not only on [toilet] paper: “Only a rapid, captivating, human-centered [bowel movement] reform can contribute to fill the abyss that separates the traditional doctrine of the Church from the reality of [un]faithful Catholics regarding sexual [im]morality.”

[At which point Martha Heizer and her husband got up from their twin toilets and flushed their excrement down the Rhein sewage system to the Tiber.... because this is part of the "human-centered reality" also and we should not say that it stinks because we might hurt someones feelings..... ]

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